Let me set the premise. Our local Wal-Mart (called E-Mart) apparently just began selling pizzas VERY similar to those CostCo sells here in their snack shop. They are LARGE and actually cheaper if you buy a whole pizza than buying the equivalent amount in slices. I can eat a lot, but two slices of this pizza knock me out of the ring.
Jen and I went to the shop the other day to buy a few things and decided to grab a pizza that we could eat for dinner and use the leftovers for lunch during the school week. So I walked up to the pizza counter and said confidently, "I'd like a cheese pizza." (They only sell cheese, supreme, and bulgogi, and the supreme isn't very good.) And as they pulled out one of the two pizzas I could see in the oven and boxed it for another customer, they told me they were "Sold Out." Confused, I asked how that was possible while pointing to the other pizzas in the oven and the three or four they had on the rack. But when they didn't understand my complex English sentence, they fired back with a complex Korean sentence to put me in my place. Undeterred, I persisted with my logical questions. How is it possible that you can pull entire pizzas out of the oven and give them to other customers while crossing your arms and saying "Sold Out?" In a last ditch effort to understand the crazy system, I asked, "What time do you stop selling whole pizzas?" and the lady said proudly, "Today, 2 o' clock!" It was nearly 8 PM!! Are you telling me these people have been waiting at least six hours for these pizzas? Why are you LYING to me?
It's frightening how quickly my mind goes into "Don't hate me because I'm foreign" mode in these situations. I decided to show them how stupid they were and asked for six slices (equal to a whole pizza) of cheese pizza, which I was then going to ask them to put in a regular pizza box before I paid for it. We learned a few years ago that you cannot order a ham and cheese pizza from the pizza shop. No matter how much you beg and plead, they WILL NOT do it. But if you concede to the employee that it's not possible, you can change your mind and get a Hawaiian pizza without the pineapple. No Problem!
Jen didn't want to risk paying for six slices (15,000 Won) instead of buying a whole pizza (11,500 Won) so we ended up just grabbing two slices and heading for the cash register. And as I took our slices the lady behind the counter pulled a cheese pizza out of the oven, put it in a box and gave it to a Korean guy who had just arrived. We followed him all the way to the registers mumbling under our breath about the "Sold Out" pizza he was stealing from us. (Okay, it was just me mumbling. Jen was crouched in readiness to keep me from doing something really stupid. All for a stupid pizza.)
We decided to stop at the customer service counter on the way out to see if they knew any more English than "Sold Out" with their arms crossed. The first lady didn't, but she yelled through the teller window behind to another lady to "Get out here, HURRY!" in Korean. Another lady came out and asked, "How may I help you?" I explained the situation and asked her what the deal was. So she called the pizza counter and asked, said "Ah, I understand" (in Korean) and looked up confidently saying, "It's sold out." At this point I got a little angrier and said, "That's not an answer! I am watching people walk out with pizzas, whole pizzas! They are still selling them, just not to me." She then tried explaining to me that these people who were taking pizzas actually went to the counter and ordered them. "Oh, I'm sorry. I tried giving them JIGGLY EYES and hoping that they understood the body language for 'One cheese pizza.' I ordered one too, and while they said, 'Here's your whole pizza' to others, they told me 'Sold Out!'" By this time I was getting really frustrated about the fact that while they probably had an excellent reason for not selling me a whole pizza, they were keeping it a secret in hopes that "Sold Out" would satisfy my curiosity.
In my mind I think that the local people probably hear "sold out" and probably don't question it. They probably don't ask why, or wonder how they can ensure that they get a whole one next time. They probably just say, "Ah really?" and then take their slices. I suppose though that there is a small chance that the lady behind the counter speaks enough Korean to explain to the customer WHY they can't get a whole pizza tonight.
Nonetheless, I asked the CS lady how I could order a pizza, internet? telephone? smoke signals? She told me the only way is to come in and order it. Fighting back tears of anger I said, "I just did that!" She replied with, "You have to come in early to order and pick it up later in the day." NOW the 2 PM deadline makes a little more sense, but I'm just as frustrated (if not more) that this city is so full of people so crazy that they will get up at breakfast to take a 20 minute bus to E-Mart JUST TO PLACE A PIZZA ORDER that they will have to come back to pick up 12 hours later with the only desire being to watch me curse out customer service ladies for something so stupid as a pizza.
But really, I still can't figure out what's dumber: a pizza shop that sells out dinner orders before lunch is finished, or the people who waste two hours in a single day making trips to the store just for a cheap pizza. That's harsh, and I secretly doubt that it's impossible to phone a pizza order in, but you understand the point.
When I sat down to write this post, I assumed that getting it off my chest would make me feel a little better and allow me to move past it with a smile on my face. But as I've typed, the frustration has welled up again. Oh well, I'll eventually figure out how to get it done. Until then, I'll just cause lots of problems every time I buy one in the hopes that they'll give in just to get rid of me. :)
